One of the few reasons that divorced parents still need to see each other is to make custody exchanges. Generally, both parents need to be present at a child custody handoff unless there is an agreed-on third party with authorization to pick up or drop off a child. For parents whose divorce is still pending, these exchanges can be very tense. Both parents may be tempted to use child exchanges as a time to find fault in the other parent. For those whose divorce is far from amicable, handing off a child can even turn into an argument. It is important for both parents to know how to handle handing off a child in order to avoid further upsetting the child. When parents work together to put the child first despite their differences, the child is more likely to have a relatively smooth adjustment. 

Ways to Keep a Child Custody Exchange Safe and Civil

While not upsetting the child further is important, nothing is more important than safety for everyone involved. Some tips you may find helpful include: 

• Do not talk divorce - This is not the time to try to negotiate the terms of your divorce. That should be done with attorneys present. Resist the urge to bring up any points of disagreement regarding your divorce or your child custody proceedings. 

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Prenuptial agreements can be a great tool during divorce proceedings. Spouses who have one in place often find that their divorce goes much quicker and smoother than it would have without one. Those who have prenuptial agreements are likely to be able to file an uncontested divorce, as most of the divorce terms are likely already agreed upon. However, an unfair prenuptial agreement can serve as a roadblock to divorce. Women are more likely to be disfavored in a prenuptial agreement than men and are less likely to seek a divorce if they believe that their prenuptial agreement will leave them high and dry. However, there are circumstances where an Illinois court will refuse to enforce a prenuptial agreement that is drastically unfair to one party. If your prenuptial agreement is the main reason you are hesitant to get a divorce, you should consult an attorney to find out whether yours could be set aside. 

When Will Illinois Courts Refuse to Enforce a Prenuptial Agreement?

There are a number of circumstances that will cause a divorce court in Illinois to refuse to enforce a prenuptial agreement. These circumstances include: 

• Undue hardship - While generally a spouse can waive her right to receive alimony, this provision may not be enforced if you will be left completely unable to provide for yourself after the marriage ends. This is the main part that many people wanting to leave their marriages are afraid of. No, your wealthy spouse cannot leave you in a situation where you would be in dire financial straits and in need of public benefits. 

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Leaving a controlling spouse can be very difficult. If you have been married for a long time, it might feel like you do not know what to do with yourself without your spouse there to dictate your every move. You may be socially isolated or even separated from your family. Getting a divorce in this situation is the best way to protect yourself and your future. It can be challenging, but it can be done. You will want to make sure that you are represented by an aggressive lawyer. Controlling spouses are skilled at bending the will of their spouse in order to get what they want. You and your lawyer will need to take extra care to ensure that you are not being taken advantage of or controlled in any way during the divorce process. 

Tips for Getting Out of a Controlling Marriage

Standing your ground is going to be very important during this time. Some tips that may help you include: 

• Ask for rehabilitative alimony - Many controlling spouses prevent their partners from working outside the home for pay. You may lack the skills, education, or training you need to start a career. Rehabilitative alimony addresses this exact situation - it is designed so that your spouse will need to continue supporting you while you go to school or seek job training. 

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As a parent, your children are probably the most important part of your life. A parent’s greatest fear is losing their children. You probably cannot imagine your life without your children in it. So when you and your children’s other parent split and go to court for child custody, you hold out hope for the most possible time with your children. Nothing is scarier than hearing that the other parent is demanding exclusive custody. The prospect of your former spouse or romantic partner taking your children out of your life is enough to send any parent into full-blown panic. The good news is that demands for full custody very rarely succeed. In most cases, this fear is largely unfounded. However, it is critically important that you work with an experienced child custody lawyer who can fight to stop this from happening. 

When do Illinois Courts Give One Parent Full Custody?

This is a last resort option that is only used when one parent is genuinely harmful to their children. We see this happen almost exclusively in cases where one parent has abused the children or is extremely unstable. Even if your former partner manages to convince the court that you cannot be trusted alone with the children, supervised visitation is often used. Supervised visitation is not often a permanent arrangement. 

Fighting Back When Your Ex Demands Exclusive Custody

The following tips may help you resist your former partner’s demand for full custody: 

Divorce can bring out the worst in people. When a divorce is not amicable, each party is trying to prove that they are more responsible, a better parent, and a better spouse. Unfortunately, some people will resort to trying to throw their spouse under the bus in an effort to get a better result for themself. Others will resort to flat-out lying to the court or even falsifying evidence. Some will make ridiculous demands that you know are completely unfair. Being the spouse whose name is getting dragged through the mud by a vindictive spouse can be a humiliating and infuriating experience. However, retaliating in kind is not always the right solution. If your spouse is refusing to play fair during your divorce, it is important that you work with an aggressive and experienced divorce lawyer. The Foray Firm has helped many people who are in this position. 

Tips for Handling Divorce When Your Spouse is Playing Dirty

Maybe your spouse is claiming that you abused them or your children when you absolutely did no such thing. Maybe they have brought up an old misdemeanor on your record that has nothing to do with the marriage or your ability to be a good parent. Or, they could have done something truly unfair like draining your joint bank account on their way out the door. Whatever type of unfair play your spouse is engaging in, know that they are not likely to succeed. Some helpful tips for handling this type of situation include: 

• Be honest - It may be tempting to stoop to your spouse’s level and try to fight lies with more lies. But this approach is likely to make things worse rather than better. Remember that judges in family courts have seen a lot of divorce cases and can often spot a dishonest party a mile away. It is also extremely important that you are completely open and honest with your attorney, even if it might be a bit embarrassing. Your lawyer cannot do their job if they do not have accurate information.

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