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How to Survive Supervised Visitation with Your ChildDuring a divorce, parents must decide how they will continue to parent their child moving forward. This can be difficult for parents since they are likely used to seeing their children on a daily basis. Ideally, courts try to keep both parents in the child's life since this is often deemed beneficial for the child. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. If the court determines that you are unfit to take care of your child alone, they may grant you supervised visitation or deny you from seeing your child at all. Typically, the court will allow supervised visitation before taking such drastic actions as banning you from spending time with your child. Having another party in the room while you are taking care of your kids can be uncomfortable, and the nerves may bring out the worst in parents. Staying calm and having a game plan for your supervised visit is the best way to move towards removing those restrictions.

Create an Active Visit

You will have a certain amount of time to spend with your child, so it is important to make the most of it. It is a good idea to have a few activities planned for your child so that you appear prepared and invested in spending time with them. These “events” do not have to be anything out of the ordinary, but they should tailor to your child’s interests. Even if you just color or play Legos, that shows that you are willing to set aside time for your kids.

Be Mindful About How You Present Yourself

It can be difficult to maintain a sense of normalcy while you are being watched, but this is crucial. Your appearance should be presentable, including your language and clothing. The representative assigned to you will be taking written and mental notes about your actions and appearance. The way you present yourself can give the observer a sense of your attitude towards the situation and your attitude towards caring for your child.

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Gray Divorce: How Does Getting Divorced Later in Life Change Things?When you think of divorce, you may imagine a recently married couple quickly realizing that they were not ready for marriage — or maybe you picture an ugly custody battle between two parents with young children. This may be a common depiction of divorce on TV or in movies; however, getting divorced at an older age is becoming more and more common. This is known as “gray divorce.” Given the false assumption that older people have life “all figured out,” many people are surprised to hear that older couples are getting divorced more frequently as each year passes.

Common Reasons for Gray Divorces

It may seem counterintuitive to get divorced at an older age — you and your spouse have already lived an entire life together, how could you end it now? Yet many people forget that a long marriage does not necessarily mean it was a good marriage. Every relationship is unique but there are a few commonalities that have been found relating to gray divorce.

  1. Higher Expectations: This explanation is not reserved solely for older couples filing for divorce — a change in society has led many couples to divorce regardless of their age. However, older couples often see greater societal changes since they have been together longer. With an increase in partner equality, many couples split when the power dynamic shifts to match the modern time.
  2. Life Expectancy: As lifespans extend, it can be more difficult to commit to spending a lifetime with another person. Individuals in every relationship grow and change, but with a longer life, it can be difficult to grow together. People may not have “better” or “worse” marriages today yet they may be more inclined to end their relationship if things are taking a bad turn since their future has more years to it.
  3. Empty Nesting: For couples with children, their kids may be the glue holding them together. This is the case for many marriages and it can become more obvious when their children leave home. Some parents may recognize that their only connection is their children and this may not be enough for them moving forward.

Considerations for Divorcing Later in Life

Older couples deciding to file for divorce have a few areas that they must consider that differ from younger couples. Many couples have tied their retirement plans together when preparing for the future. In a gray divorce, dividing the retirement plan equitably can be critical. Many older couples will use a qualified domestic relations order (QDRO). Depending on the type of retirement plan that you and your spouse have, this may be a necessary step to recognize marital assets and ensure that each spouse is receiving their fair share. For younger couples with children, the family law portion of the divorce can take on the bulk of their concerns. Older couples do not share this same concern. Their children are likely no longer minors and thus parenting arrangements and child support payments are removed from the conversation.

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Do I Need Permission From My Child’s Other Parent to Relocate?After getting divorced, many individuals will choose to have a fresh start, and for some, this means moving to a new place in a new location. For those going through the major life changes that inevitably come with divorce, this fresh start can be a good way to move forward towards a future that is focused on their happiness. However, for those with children, it may not be that easy. Divorcing couples with children will forever be connected by their shared kids. With parenting time agreements and child support payments, it may feel as if this new beginning may never start. Making the decision to move with your children may be restricted depending on the circumstances, and it is important to avoid violating this restriction as it can lead to serious legal consequences.

What is Considered Relocation?

Not every change of residence is considered relocation. For instance, the state cannot restrict you if you would simply like to move down the street to start fresh in a new house. However, anyone looking to relocate with their children will need permission from their child’s other parent or from the court. So, what is considered relocation by Illinois law?

  • If the child’s current primary residence is in DuPage, Cook, Lake, Kane, McHenry, or Will County and you move them to a location within Illinois that is more than 25 miles from their current residence
  • If the child’s current primary residence is not in one of the abovementioned counties and you move them to a location in Illinois that is more than 50 miles from their current residence
  • If you move the child outside of the state of Illinois and their new residence is over 25 miles away from their current residence

How Do I Get Permission?

If the parent who is the primary caretaker of the child would like to relocate with their child, they will need to provide their child’s other parent with written notification of their intent to move. This must be done 60 days before the parent and child intend to relocate, and it must inform the other parent of their intended move date, their new residence’s location, and the length of time that the relocation will last if it is not intended to be indefinite. The non-relocating parent is able to sign the relocation notice, granting the moving parties permission to do so, if they are comfortable with the relocation taking place. If this is the case, court permission is not required. However, many parents may not be comfortable with their child being so far away from them. If the non-moving parent refuses to sign the notice, the relocating parent may file their request with the court. The court may also deny the request; however, they will be looking at the request from a much different perspective. With no emotional investment to the parents or child, the court can act as the necessary third-party to determine whether or not this move is really in the best interests of the child. In many cases, impartial judgment may be necessary as emotions can often cloud a parent’s judgment on both ends.

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What Factors are Considered When Calculating Spousal Maintenance in Illinois?After deciding to cut ties with your spouse, it can be difficult to imagine a life without them. You may know that divorce is the best decision for you both; however, that does not always mean that the transition is seamless. You experience being truly on your own for the first time since getting married, both emotionally and financially. While the emotional transition can be a rollercoaster of highs and lows, adjusting to a single income can be the most difficult change of all. Maybe you were a one-income household with one parent staying home, or perhaps you both had a steady income. Regardless, getting used to living off one paycheck, while working on the emotional distress that comes with divorce, can be enough to send someone into a spiral. Fortunately, spousal maintenance can supplement your finances if your former spouse has a greater income than you.

What Does the Court Look At?

To help divorcing couples adjust and survive, the court will often require one spouse to pay their ex a particular amount each month. While they may use an equation of sorts, there are a variety of other factors that play into a judge’s decision for these payments. Spousal maintenance requirements vary in amount, frequency, and lifespan. In other words, every divorce agreement is unique, including the amount of money that will be given by one former spouse to the other. According to Illinois statutes regarding spousal maintenance, the following factors are considered while making decisions regarding these payments:

  • The property and income of each party, including any assets that are assigned in the property division process
  • The possible present and future earning capacity of each party
  • Time devoted to domestic work throughout their marriage and decisions made to defer education or employment opportunities as a result of the marriage
  • The time it will take the deserved party to acquire proper training, education, and employment and how well this job position would allow them to support themselves
  • The duration of the marriage and their standard of living at the time of divorce
  • All sources of income that each party has access to, including retirement and disability income

When the court comes to an agreement on the spousal maintenance amounts, they must provide the two parties with the reasoning behind their choices. The findings report will include information regarding why the court did or did not require spousal maintenance payments to be made and an explanation of what factors contributed to their decision.

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Will County child custody attorney

Many people do not realize the number of steps included in the divorce process, and this number only increases when children are involved. While many may think dividing your belongings is the most difficult portion, formulating a parenting plan can often create the most conflict between divorcing couples. Learning to “share” your child with your ex when you do not live together is difficult for every parent. From the outside, it may seem obvious how you should divide the parenting time; however, this can change during the divorce proceedings. Understanding what is included in a parenting plan and what the various options are is a good idea before stepping into your legal meetings.

 

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